Let .. It .. GO!
by Stephen Doherty
February 8th, 2025
“Holding a grudge doesn’t make you strong; it makes you bitter.
Forgiving doesn’t make you weak; it sets you free”
What rust is to metal. What termites are to wood. What mold is to food. What cancer is to living tissue. These are perfect descriptors of the corrosive impact of perpetual grievance on the human heart and soul. I wanted to share a few thoughts on the power of “letting go” and why shedding grudges is so essential to personal growth as well as our mental and emotional health. I think an axiom we can all agree on is simply that absent mental health – we have no health at all.
Holding onto grudges can feel justified, even empowering, in the moment. It’s natural to feel hurt when someone wrongs you, and holding onto that pain may seem like a way to protect yourself. However, carrying grudges does more harm than good, affecting your emotional and physical well-being. Worse, so often the target of our grievance is wholly unaware of this hallowed “pedestal” we have placed them on. Could anything be more futile (or pitiful) than energy directed at a completely oblivious target of our derision? Worse yet, they are aware and revel in the crippling power you’ve so freely relinquished to them.
The ongoing erosion of friendships are too often the casualty of perpetual grievance and forever grudges. Resentment and anger, if allowed to simmer, can slowly poison even the most meaningful connections. Trust is replaced with suspicion, empathy with bitterness, and dialogue with defensiveness. Over time, the weight of these unresolved feelings can make reconciliation or even progress seem impossible. Their compounding impact of grievance over time is simply unsustainable to a healthy heart and soul.
The value of shedding grudges lies in reclaiming your peace of mind. Grudges keep you tethered to the past, constantly replaying negative emotions and moments. This not only prevents you from moving forward, but it also robs you of the energy and joy you deserve. When you forgive, you free yourself from the cycle of resentment and anger, opening up space for healthier thoughts and relationships. Like cancer, grievance will eventually consume the host if left unchecked. The decaying entity will be our happiness and spirituality.
Moreover, holding onto grudges can have real-life physical impacts. Studies show that chronic stress from unresolved conflicts can weaken the immune system, increase blood pressure, and even shorten your lifespan. Forgiveness, on the other hand, has been linked to improved mental health, lower stress, and increased overall well-being. As the ancient knight guarding the Holy Grail in Raiders of the Lost Ark said to Indiana Jones, “Choose wisely!”
In the end, shedding grudges isn’t just about forgiving others—it’s about giving yourself the freedom to live fully, without the chains of the past crippling you and holding you back. It requires emotional maturity and self-awareness to choose healing over hurt.
It’s not about excusing others’ wrongdoings, but about prioritizing your own happiness and peace. By doing so, we release the grip that past injustices have over us and reclaim the power to shape our present and future. After all, healing isn’t about forgetting but about choosing to live fully, despite the scars of the past. Choose peace and discover and embrace the power of letting go.
“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness,
but because you deserve peace.” -Jonathan Lockwood Hule
