Mastering The “GAP!”
by Stephen Doherty
November 3rd, 2024
“Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Victor Frankl
Throughout our lives, mastering the “gap” is often among our most significant challenges. Navigating those seconds between something occurring and what our response to that something might be – is often the determinant for how successful we are in managing our own journeys and successfully reaching our ultimate goals and objectives.
We all encounter stimuli that provoke responses, whether they are emotional, physical, or cognitive. This interplay forms the basis of our interactions with the world around us. Understanding this gap can enhance our emotional intelligence, decision-making, and overall well-being. Because within that space – truly, our life’s outcomes are determined; for better and for worse.
The gap between stimulus and response refers to the momentary pause or space that exists between an external event (the stimulus) and our reaction to it (the response). This concept is often associated with the idea that while we cannot control many of the triggering events we encounter – we can control how we respond.
This gap allows us to choose our responses consciously rather than reacting impulsively. It is in this space that we can exercise self-awareness and intentionality, deciding how to react in a way that aligns with our values and goals. Or we can default to impulse, and the negative consequences that normally accompany that path. The time between thoughtfulness and impulse can often be measured in mere seconds, but with drastically different outcomes.
My daughter has always been fond of the saying, “Daddy, everything happens for a reason!” While there is a part of me that believes in that level of fate and destiny, I also wonder if that belief too often provides a convenient excuse for lives that have careened off course courtesy of reacting impulsively and emotionally rather than thoughtfully and purposefully.
Regardless, I do believe there is great benefit in learning how to manage our respective “triggers” that can send us off course. For me, self-awareness arrived later than I would have liked – but better late than never. Mindfulness and presence have been life changing. Practicing mindfulness is about being present in the moment.
The gap allows us to step back and observe our thoughts and feelings without judgment. This practice can lead to greater awareness of our patterns and triggers, enabling us to respond rather than react. Those seconds can be the difference between the accumulation of great moments or regrettable outcomes born of impulse.
The gap between stimulus and response is a powerful space that can lead to greater emotional intelligence, improved decision-making, and healthier relationships. By becoming more aware of this gap and cultivating practices that enhance our ability to navigate it, we empower ourselves to respond intentionally and effectively in our daily lives. The next time you face a triggering event, remember the pause; it’s in that moment that you hold the key to choosing your response – and in many ways, your own happiness and destiny.
“One moment of patience may ward off great disaster. One moment of impatience may ruin a whole life.” –Chinese proverb