A Tribute to my Best Friend. My “Big” Brother…
By Stephen Doherty
“To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were. We know each other’s hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.” ― Clara Ortega
I cannot imagine a world that didn’t include my older brother in it. It has been said that brothers and sisters are our very first “best friends.” It goes much further and deeper than that. There are few chapters of our lives that don’t include the comforting specter of a beloved sibling hovering nearby. While parents are often gone from our lives too soon and wives and children may arrive a little late-brothers and sisters provide a consistency of love and trust that spans our entire lives. A man once said that “We are like branches on a tree. We grow in different directions, yet our roots remain as one. Each of our lives will always be a special part of the other.”
My brother and I were both adopted, proving that the bonds of love and family didn’t require DNA to legitimize it—only loyalty and commitment. My mother would often repeat the story about how my six-year old brother stood up in court in front of the judge during the adoption proceedings and proudly and firmly answered the Judge’s solemn question. “If something were to happen to James and Mary Doherty, who would take care of young Stephen?” My brother raised his right hand into the air and proudly answered, “I will, your honor!” With our parents in tow, Mike then proudly wheeled his 6-month old “little” brother out of the court room, and the journey began…
What followed next was a lifetime of adventure, laughter, success and failure and the usual array of hurts and heartaches. Like most of us, I could fill a book with those memories and stories made so much better by following my brother around. Friends came and went and for most us, we can count on one hand the ones who truly mattered and made a difference in our lives. One of the hardest times of my life was when my brother turned eighteen and I was left alone in the bedroom we shared. I was twelve years old and suddenly was receiving letters from my brother from Navy ships across the South Pacific-a stark reminder that youth passes all too quickly for all of us and how fragile life becomes against a backdrop of war.
The years passed. The decades passed. When suddenly, there came a time in my life when I veered into such darkness that my very survival would become a question mark. It’s amazing how alone you can feel in a crowded world when doing battle with monsters. It was at the lowest point of my life when I looked up from the gloom of my cave—and saw a familiar face behind the lantern. It was the same solemn face that had promised the Judge so many years earlier, that he would always be there to take care of me. It was my “big brother” doing what big brothers do. Rescuing little brothers. He kept his promise to the Judge. He kept his promise to me. And as he had done so many other times—he saved me from myself. It was a job he took very seriously—and I will be forever grateful that he did…
“Our paths may change as life goes along,
but the bond between us remains ever strong..” –Unknown