Blessed Be Thy Solitude!
By Stephen L Doherty
Sunday – June 2nd, 2024
“Loneliness is the poverty of self;
solitude is the richness of self.” -May Sarton
A very good friend of mine and I were recently debating the merits of solitude as well as defining it. The solitude I’m referring to is not the tucked-away hermit, forever meditating in isolation or remote seclusion. The solitude I’m talking about is the spiritual awakening and cleansing that can occur when you take a break from sources of external stimuli, of which examples in today’s culture and society are nearly infinite.
The discussion came up when I shared my love of traveling by motorcycle alone. To be clear, my friend and I ride together frequently, and my enjoyment of those shared adventures rivals my love of the solitary journey. My purpose is to celebrate solitude as the elixir it is – within individual bounds of tolerance for engaging it.
It seems strangely paradoxical to preach the benefits of solitude in a society and culture that’s experiencing an epidemic of chronic loneliness – so severe, that the medical community finds the health impact to be the equivalent of smoking fifteen cigarettes a day. That said, in many counterintuitive ways, solitude can actually combat the harmful effects of loneliness.
The famous philosopher Phillip Koch, defines solitude as, “… a stretch of experience disengaged from other people in perception, thought, emotion, and action … Solitude is merely an experiential world in which other people are absent: that is enough for solitude, that is constant through all solitudes.”
Throughout my life, I have always gravitated towards the social, the crowds, the opportunities to endlessly engage. I loved it. I thrived on it. I pursued it relentlessly. As time went on, however – I reached a point where I began to wonder where I ended, and the collective perceptions of my social circle began.
Worse, sometimes the self-fulfilling prophecies born of this group-think became difficult to navigate. Nietzsche once said, “When I am among the many I live as the many do and I do not think as I really think; after a time, it always seems as if they want to banish me from myself and rob me of my soul … I then require the solitude of the desert so as to grow good again.”
I have reached a point in my life where the care and attention to my emotional and mental health have reaped many dividends – including a level of fulfillment and happiness I never thought possible. The catalyst for much of this was time spent alone in the wonderful confines of solitude.
The therapeutic waves of elation and positive emotions that visit me when riding over some range of mountains alone, only enhance my time with those in my life that I relish being with. It’s addition by subtraction. Shedding the veils of social interaction in pursuit of solitude only make those social interactions more valuable and interesting to me upon my return.
Friends, family, and romantic partners are important ingredients in a good life. Social engagement and interaction is as necessary to a quality life as a river’s feeding tributaries are to its own pristineness and longevity. Conversely, solitude is characterized by unrestraint and a freedom that is inaccessible in social engagement. Or as the American Philosopher, Thomas Merton echoed in The Silent Life, “Not all men are called to be hermits, but all men need enough silence and solitude in their lives to enable the deep inner voice of their own true self to be heard … at least occasionally.”
We are free, for the moment, to do what we want, when we want. The freedom of no one bounding you on any side is as refreshing as it is liberating. The key to a healthy mind and a happy life with those in it – lies in our ability to integrate the two. The occasional benefits of solitude, I would posit – may be one of the most valuable and meaningful gifts we could ever bestow upon those in our lives we cherish most.
“I never found a companion that was so companionable as solitude.” -Henry David Thoreau