Instead of Why … Choose Why NOT!
By Stephen L Doherty
August 31st, 2025
“Ultimately, the way you look at the world – is itself a choice.” -David Friedrich Strauss
One of the most important edicts I’ve tried to impress unto my kids is this. At the core of the human experience lies a fundamental truth: our lives are shaped, defined, and ultimately dictated by the choices we make. From the smallest decisions to the most significant ones, each choice sets in motion a chain of events that steers us toward our future.
While some may argue that external factors such as fate, environment, or genetics play a larger role in determining the course of our lives – it is the cumulative weight of the choices we make that ultimately defines who we become and where we ultimately end up.
To begin with, our choices have an undeniable impact on both our immediate circumstances and long-term outcomes. Every moment presents us with a decision: whether to act or remain passive, to pursue a particular path or to let it pass by.
These choices might seem inconsequential at first, but over time, they accumulate to form the trajectory of our lives. In his terrific book, Atomic Habits, James Clear expanded on this key point. “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become. No single decision will transform your beliefs, but as the votes build up, so does the evidence of your new identity.”
Furthermore, our choices reveal the essence of who we are. Each decision we make reflects our values, desires, and priorities. Thus, our choices function not only as markers of our present reality but also as mirrors of our inner selves, underscoring the values and beliefs that drive us and define who we really are.
A critical element in understanding how our lives are shaped by our choices lies in the concept of personal responsibility. We often encounter circumstances where it feels easier to blame external factors for our difficulties or failures, but ultimately, it is our responses to those circumstances that matter.
If we recognize that we are responsible for our choices, even when faced with limitations, we empower ourselves to create change. These acts of reflection allow us to evaluate past decisions, learn from our mistakes, and make more informed choices moving forward.
But what about things we can’t control? Disease, unavoidable circumstances, natural disasters? While these factors undoubtedly shape the range of choices available to us, they do not dictate our fate. Even in the face of adversity or limited options, we all possess the capacity to make choices that defy expectations.
Bad things plague all of us on occasion and we’re all dealt different cards at various times and moments throughout our lives. But despite the weight of these external influences and circumstances – we still retain the power to choose our own path.
While external factors undeniably influence the range of choices available to us, the essence of who we are and where we end up is determined by the decisions we make. Our lives unfold as a reflection of the choices we embrace, for these choices form the very foundation of our identities, relationships, and futures.
By recognizing the power of our choices and taking responsibility for them, we become active participants in the creation of our own stories. Our choices, both big and small, chart the course of our existence, truly making our lives the sum total of whatever we choose to become.
“We are the choices we make. ” -Patrick Ness
